All Bill Herring Articles

The phrase "sex addict" can raise all kinds of different and often difficult emotions in people from all walks of life, whether they are considering it for themselves, someone they know, or just as a concept in general.  There is still a lot of misunderstanding about the topic, so I wrote this article to offer some clarity on what sex addiction is*not*.  I hope you find it useful.

"12 Step" groups are free, confidential, and a rich resource for guidance, support, inspiration and accountability for people dealing with a wide range of problems. The benefits they provide are generally unattainable from any other source, including professional counseling. Yet many people refuse to attend them, including those who would benefit the most by doing so. This reluctance tends to be based on one or more fairly common objections, many of which stem from misconceptions about the nature of 12-step groups. In an effort to provide some much-needed clarity on the subject, here are the twelve most frequently used arguments against attending 12-step groups and responses that address each concern.

Couples in crisis often struggle to communicate effectively, often getting stuck in recriminations, defensiveness, accusations and other barriers to achieving mutual understanding and true conflict resolution.  John Gray's "Love Letter" technique is a simple and effective way to insure that the full range of emotions one person feels for another will be expressed in an organized and comprehensive manner that often leads to more productive communication than can be achieved by attempts to "talk it out".

There are four types of denial of responsibility that prevent a person from healing a relationship that has been harmed.  The denials of fact, impact, accountability and change can be more devastating than the original transgression.